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Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

#13734047
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (13054)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:18am - kids - by Username - France

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

#14471297
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (27624)

On 01/05/2011 at 2:41am - work - by sucks (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

#14225014
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4909) - you deserved it (18753)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was able to land a nice apartment solely based on the fact that my puppy is potty trained. During the required pet interview, my dog 'got sick' and defecated all over the apartment office. I now have to clean the mess knowing that I will not be allowed to live there. FML

#14339155
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19705) - you deserved it (3491)

On 12/25/2010 at 9:29pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML

#14575299
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (4479)

On 01/14/2011 at 5:11am - work - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that in conclusion to working five nights in a row, I'm scheduled to work the night shift on Valentine's day with my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25078) - you deserved it (3900)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (2174)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

#16052456
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (2221)

On 05/05/2011 at 12:44am - work - by cstokes (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (1608)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I received a bill for damage to my old apartment. The same damage caused by the maintenance guy when he came to fix the pipes about a week before I left. FML

#15464709
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (2268)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by Renter - United States

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (2402)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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