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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (26020)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (6531)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

#15526729
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (3750)

On 03/28/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by calling_while_driving - United States (California)

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

#16395654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (5837)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by CAchickadee - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (99881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. I have no idea what happened the night before, except for the fact that I'd tucked two uncapped vodka bottles into bed beside me, and now my room reeks of a Russian sorority house. FML

#19417580
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6172) - you deserved it (22981)

On 04/06/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (3333)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I came across the topic of school while chatting. He asked me what high school I went to and where I moved from. I have lived here my whole life, he was my crush for four years, and was in my classes throughout those years. He doesn't believe me. FML

#17085145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (3684)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:51pm - love - by steph2052 - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (2785)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, I had to take two buses home from a friend's house. After waiting in the cold for the second bus for 40 minutes, it finally came and I realized that I'd left my wallet on the first bus. It took me 2 hours to walk home and I was locked out because my house key is attached to my wallet. FML

#18541076
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30510) - you deserved it (7059)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML

#18903193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9777) - you deserved it (25888)

On 01/24/2012 at 10:40pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10925) - you deserved it (24864)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

#17506977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (4010)

On 08/18/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by upset room mate - United States (Texas)



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