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Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (1876)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (2317)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

#6241352
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5514) - you deserved it (17023)

On 11/10/2009 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Volume_control (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a private message on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, subject: "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

#6679301
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (1514)

On 12/09/2009 at 11:31am - love - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (5434)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

#6505473
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (5493)

On 11/29/2009 at 12:16am - love - by random123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

#6687460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (4765)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (1647)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

#6950494
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (2457)

On 12/26/2009 at 1:10am - love - by Foam (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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