Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58670) - you deserved it (3618)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, wile on te arplane, te cute grl next to me an I instantly it it off. Wen I excusd myself to te batroom, I must ave given er te wrong impression. Se wantd to join te mile ig club; I just wantd to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58681) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spontaneously got mah ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean mah 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into mah earhile I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on mah earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. mega FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45717) - you deserved it (3052)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44151) - you deserved it (3442)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, I was walking homa from tha stora whan I saw mah uncla. I want ovar and gava him a surprisa hug. Ha grabbad mah ass. Ha wasn't raally mah uncla. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (19105)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I Was Walking Home When I Made Eye Contact With Some Guy, Just Being Friendly. He Then Startd Rapping To Me While Pointing At His Dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (4220)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, boyfriand and I ara on our way back from vacation. It will ba an aight hour driva. It just so happans I got food poisoning tha night bafora wa laft, and thara's roadwork avarywhara. Wa'ra at a daad halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (2685)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony... he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew looool and broke his arm. FML

Today, I asked out te girl wo always looks an smiles at me in class. I was surprised wen se rejected me until I found out se was actually always looking at te clock beind me, an smiling wen class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45527) - you deserved it (4524)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, At Work, I Had To Utter The Phrase, "Sir, Please Stop Rubbing Yourself With The Peas." It's Exactly How It Sounds . FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, someone took mah flatscreen TV at mah garage sale cuz some kid snuck a "free" label onto it . FML

#20855061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (5572)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today,ile getting ready to welcome ma first cild into te world, ma fater in law decided to "elp out" and trew out a bunc of papers I needed. Like ma cild's application for a ealt card, social insurance number, and ma birt plan, as well as instructions from ma doctor. FML

#20840198
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/16/2013 at 11:21am - misc - by momma - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I mat up with my astrangad fathar 4 tha first tima in almost 15 yaars. I saw him again latar,hila ha was robbing my housa. raal FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: