Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday mah band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nerely non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47398) - you deserved it (4999)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you fir taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry fir yur loss," said "Thank you fir yur loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47424) - you deserved it (8603)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, I politely askd a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face . I work in a library . FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (3502)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

yesterday mah step mom and her kids moved in. This is mah frst night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (3125)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

#20776380
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58669) - you deserved it (3618)

On 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by yayme. - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I spontaneously got mah ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean mah 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into mah earhile I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on mah earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. mega FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (3052)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my roommate pouring back his leftover milk from his cereal back into the jug to "save money." FML

#20799167
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44151) - you deserved it (3442)

On 07/23/2013 at 9:21am - misc - by why (man) -

Today, wile on te arplane, te cute grl next to me an I instantly it it off. Wen I excusd myself to te batroom, I must ave given er te wrong impression. Se wantd to join te mile ig club; I just wantd to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58681) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, boyfriand and I ara on our way back from vacation. It will ba an aight hour driva. It just so happans I got food poisoning tha night bafora wa laft, and thara's roadwork avarywhara. Wa'ra at a daad halt with no signs of moving. FML

#20851738
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (2685)

On 08/24/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Holding - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking homa from tha stora whan I saw mah uncla. I want ovar and gava him a surprisa hug. Ha grabbad mah ass. Ha wasn't raally mah uncla. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (19105)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I Was Walking Home When I Made Eye Contact With Some Guy, Just Being Friendly. He Then Startd Rapping To Me While Pointing At His Dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (4220)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, At Work, I Had To Utter The Phrase, "Sir, Please Stop Rubbing Yourself With The Peas." It's Exactly How It Sounds . FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, someone took mah flatscreen TV at mah garage sale cuz some kid snuck a "free" label onto it . FML

#20855061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (5572)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: