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Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33244) - you deserved it (5105)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

#7158571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:18am - work - by Himynameisjacob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

#7294242
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (3875)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:46am - kids - by mandiballz - United States (California)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23582) - you deserved it (2147)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (4790)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5742) - you deserved it (38570)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My bestfriend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (2928)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

#8713429
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (25956)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:16am - money - by komp6390 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (5511)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (2693)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (3176)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML



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