Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was thinking about how people say if you're gradually introduced to a smell or you're forced to deal with enough, you'll stop noticing it. And how untrue that is. Especially when your roommates sneak a dead rabbit under your bed. FML

#3082688
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (2268)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML

#492068
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51264) - you deserved it (7242)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by noname (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

#1479634
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (8842)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (71343)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (32594)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (52629)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14718) - you deserved it (45712)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14385) - you deserved it (42550)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (1648)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48471) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

#134361
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45572) - you deserved it (5184)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: