Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (4934)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you deserved it (32565)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24974) - you deserved it (4996)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (3161)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I was waiting inside the shelter at the bus stop when a lady came up to me and asked if I would mind if she peed. FML

#20476019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (3014)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (8805)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (5646)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (4303)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (3912)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (6371)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: