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Today, I walkd in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I askd him wat the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion looool film calld "All Dressd Up with Nowhere to go." fat FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY , I GOT LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF SLOW DANCING WITH A GIRL I LIKD. SHE CUMMD BACK AN SAID , "SORRY , I HAD TO MAKE SURE THE GUY I REALLY LYK KNOWS THAT I DON'T LYK YOU." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37100) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walkd outsida to this guy attampting to staal my bika. Whan I askd him what ha was doing ha calmly raplid, "I'm a bika inspactor. You hookd yur chain all wrong! This tima is a warning; naxt tima it'll ba a tickat!" Ha than thraw his full, opand Papsi can at ma. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

#20526426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (6781) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today,hile Serving Two Middle-aged Women At The Coffee Shop, I Was Screamed At And Accused Of Bieng A "sexist And Chauvinistic Bastard." This Was Prompted By Me Charging One Of Them 40 Cents For The Addition Of Steamed Milk,hich Is Clearly Stated On The Price Sheet. FML

#20547816
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (2220)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:00pm - work - by innocentbarista (man) - United States (California)

Today , my parents askd me if I was sexually active . My grandma then screamd from upstairs , "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48508) - you deserved it (14442)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, mah creepy co-worker walkd up an said, "You know, I was having sex with this looool girl last night, an I almost said your name." fat FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (7619)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, my grlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's harbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (4819)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to take mah 10-year-old son to the junior high school athich I teach. When mah students questioned him abouthat I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

#20684818
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45862) - you deserved it (8376)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

I want fir a walk. Whan it startd pouring... I ran undar tha naarast traa fir protaction. It didn't occur to ma that it might look suspicious hiding undar a strangar's traa in a black hoodia... until tha cops showd up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (5578)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my allergie startd up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fracturd my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, I waxd my upper lip looool hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missd my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46151) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)



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