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Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

#17687810
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (2040)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (6443)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23631) - you deserved it (1913)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8370) - you deserved it (20852)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML

#19149317
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6980) - you deserved it (38510)

On 02/23/2012 at 8:54pm - misc - by thisguy - Canada

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

#19694480
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15954) - you deserved it (2718)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:17pm - health - by Phil (man) - Canada

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21171) - you deserved it (4673)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

#19674357
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15211) - you deserved it (1737)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (1885)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21854) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML

#19847673
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (5647)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:59pm - misc - by hearingthings (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21817) - you deserved it (3596)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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