Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (3650)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (50724)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40002) - you deserved it (3302)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

#20923915
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (16303)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43488) - you deserved it (4404)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38536) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (4386)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (7013)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (3109)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (3891)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41824) - you deserved it (5156)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (3748)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: