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Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

#16714444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (2250)

On 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by ajdown (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (17132)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

#19249141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (7891)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

#17579225
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (100041) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/25/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by santa_maria - Reunion

Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

#16938868
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (6194)

On 07/01/2011 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10720) - you deserved it (29919)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML

#19655540
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (9971)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

#17748753
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27928) - you deserved it (2696)

On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

#16827644
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (2266)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:11am - work - by Leah (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

#17518141
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28799) - you deserved it (2637)

On 08/19/2011 at 9:11am - health - by pizzachest - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML

#17682370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23834) - you deserved it (2005)

On 09/06/2011 at 6:53pm - misc - by poisongrl (woman) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11688) - you deserved it (31130)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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