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Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11338) - you deserved it (25585)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML

#6741801
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5311) - you deserved it (34100)

On 12/13/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by MissSmarts (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, I found out my mom is getting rid of cable TV. My dad and I bought her a 700 dollar plasma screen TV for Christmas. FML

#6922961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23441) - you deserved it (2884)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8065) - you deserved it (34408)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you deserved it (3850)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (4913)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25172) - you deserved it (4275)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML

#7416105
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by over_protected (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23735) - you deserved it (9948)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

#7957934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (2596)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by nekoneko (man) - United States (Ohio)



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