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Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (7154)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18895) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

#20421236
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10121) - you deserved it (34393)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Christmasloverandstuff - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13435) - you deserved it (23387)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML

#20465041
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2291)

On 01/17/2013 at 7:39pm - misc - by FMyThroat (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2913)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

#20508609
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (3111)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15184) - you deserved it (30400)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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