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Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML

#17515191
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (24208)

On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to an angry text from my roommate asking me to please let her know next time I'm going to have a friend crashing on the couch. I have no idea who she's talking about. FML

#20038307
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (1581)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29393) - you deserved it (2941)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

#18096005
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by ashleyyyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (4374)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8266) - you deserved it (27913)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (1836)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (2256)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

#19620502
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (2261)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (2211)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States



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