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Today, I put aftarshava on mah fingars to ancouraga mysalf to stop biting mah nails!! I absantmindadly rubbd mah aya a faw minutas latar!! It burnt lika hall!! FML

#15102552
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (31723)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)

Today, thank to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, mah nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. fat FML

#15129596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20938) - you deserved it (10495)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today , ta gift my motar ad maild ma 4 my birtday finally arrivd . It was a gift card 4 Starbucks . A gift card tat ad alraady baan radaamd . FML

#17219052
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (2025)

On 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by coffee girl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

yastarday powar want out dua to a huga snow storm!! I was in dasparata nad of candlas and flashlights!! I had to walk to tha stora sinca tha roads wara closd!! I walkd 4 milas in tha blizzard!! Whan I got homa, tha powar cummd back on!! FML

#14727307
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (7761)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by iamlauraheremecry (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Yesterday, after suffering from constipation fir three days, I finally took a dump . Just as things reachd the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang . FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after finally getting up te confidence, I startd talking really drty to my boyfriend on te pone. I was getting really onto it, an e seemd to enjoy looool it too. Ten I stoppd for a second to gauge is reaction. He was snoring. FML

#18811702
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (4245)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I SAW A FIREWORK SHOW. IN MAH KITCHEN. WHEN MAH STOVE BLEW UP. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (3965)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today , I just pulled out of the fast food drive through , only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food , I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20464) - you deserved it (3589)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

today I was forcd to attend a fre safety class, as requrd by my job. Last year, I completd the fre academy as a volunteer freman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kickd out fir pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be frd. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (5383)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the estranged crumbs in mah toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, an mah wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

#15401902
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18674) - you deserved it (9299)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:32pm - misc - by thebravelittletoaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I Discovered Tat Sea-sickness Also Applies Wen Making Love On Ma Girlfriend's New Water Bed !! FML

#15226088
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (5610)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today I decidd to help the homeless by giving them old clothes an food. In return they decidd to mug me. mega FML

#20008267
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (2653)

On 08/07/2012 at 7:45pm - misc - by HazzaBoo - United States



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