Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

#14012574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML

#14335175
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

#14011606
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (4238)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by brelni - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

#13464373
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (6295)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

#12212564
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (3726)

On 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by anne (woman) - Canada

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

#13925294
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (2598)

On 11/21/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML

#13038622
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (5887)

On 09/13/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by Drunk - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29412) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27291) - you deserved it (2266)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (30700)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: