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Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49378) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (3541)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML

#20767127
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (46885)

On 07/06/2013 at 2:23pm - money - by goodbye sweet internet (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

#20775203
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49688) - you deserved it (5150)

On 07/10/2013 at 11:04pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (5477)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (35369)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45857) - you deserved it (2543)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47544) - you deserved it (2563)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (2670)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

#20886551
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45269) - you deserved it (7275)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55134) - you deserved it (8308)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52863) - you deserved it (3840)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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