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Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

by annoym / 02/21/2012 at 6:49am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

by Blueshock08 / 02/23/2012 at 2:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

by atsukobo / 03/10/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, I locked myself out of the house. After hours of ringing the doorbell and calling my roommate, I decided to break the window. When I finally got in, my roommate was waiting with a can of pepper spray. FML

by jamboooy / 03/18/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

by thatswhatsup66 / 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

by badadvise / 03/23/2012 at 12:05am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

by mitchell904 / 04/18/2012 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Newport) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

by AngryLittleMan / 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML

by Brown345 / 05/11/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Work

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

by littlebigbrother / 05/23/2012 at 2:13am / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Nevada) / Work