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Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38174) - you deserved it (3382)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (47912)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML

#21119159
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (10443)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

#21129594
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (4912)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by wtf - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

#21166210
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (13770)

On 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm - work - by fstfckd (man) - United States

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

#21173506
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (3749)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Little Miss Fucket (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47069) - you deserved it (4695)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (4823)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43412) - you deserved it (3976)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41568) - you deserved it (3917)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (3032)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss expects me to conduct a meeting with a client, give him all the info he needs, and manage his campaign. This is because he fired the "expensive" marketing director and wants me, the intern, to continue his work. FML

#21237282
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (2776)

On 08/14/2014 at 6:31am - work - by givemestrength - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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