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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40901) - you deserved it (5248)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (2721)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

#5453638
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27977) - you deserved it (3983)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (3551)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50724) - you deserved it (7527)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

#5149100
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53815) - you deserved it (4312)

On 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Somessedup (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my wife to block the mail of her ex (because he was sending her romantic mails) or I would leave. She told me that I could leave. FML

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10133) - you deserved it (34484)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

#4627315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50131) - you deserved it (9685)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by anonymus (man) - United States

Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML

#4856467
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (2427)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

#4758974
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (6539)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by zboy_123 (man) - India (Haryana)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60215) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

#4426639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (64477)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by picaboo (man) - Singapore



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