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Today, I had to show my ID to prove I was over 18. I was buying teaspoons. FML

#21423486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (1612)

On 06/09/2015 at 6:30pm - misc - by I-love-my-tea - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (2867)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

#491
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17714) - you deserved it (1970)

On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (3709)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25284) - you deserved it (4874)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

#30754
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (52675)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (10056)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML

#163784
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48981) - you deserved it (25428)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AppState (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72503) - you deserved it (3158)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a text message. My phone was sitting on the edge of the bed and set on vibrate, so it fell off. I reached down to grab my phone and fell off the bed. My macbook landed on top of me. I fractured my arm and broke my laptop to read a text from facebook. FML

#279648
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57597) - you deserved it (20041)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:06am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year and I were discussing how neither of us is the other's usual 'type'. I explained that I usually go for insular asshole types and then asked him what made me different from his usual choices. He said 'Oh, well, I usually go for the attractive ones.' FML

#436002
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66495) - you deserved it (10716)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:35am - misc - by aphre - United Kingdom (North Down)



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