Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (142032)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121061) - you deserved it (22550)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8671) - you deserved it (113216)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51845) - you deserved it (65278)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29317) - you deserved it (66559)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (58475)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (3841)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (28430)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9452) - you deserved it (115162)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (218873)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55187) - you deserved it (10542)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (422409) - you deserved it (67497)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: