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Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (59228)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115707) - you deserved it (8171)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (646086) - you deserved it (42825)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (389023)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10638) - you deserved it (112018)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8527) - you deserved it (105317)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121059) - you deserved it (17316)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (4466)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47080) - you deserved it (4417)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48468) - you deserved it (9137)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
480 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15682) - you deserved it (89172)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53697) - you deserved it (32571)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)



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