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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, mah history teacher confiscated mah iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, an I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. real FML

#19233379
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (28158)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppin by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. mega FML

#2418263
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (222920)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I IGNORED MY CAT'S INCESSANT MEOWING, AN PUSED IM AWAY EVERY TIME E WANTED TO BE PETTED. TE NEXT TIME I WALKED DOWNSTAIRS I FOUND IM DEAD. FML

#5210731
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (88548)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Taday I ad to go to a birtday party 4 10 year old triplets. Tey've all been dead 4 more tan 9 years. FML

#16755181
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (5985)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers 4 our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea y I am so upset. FML

#6303119
478 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (42623)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount ofhiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. mega FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (57075)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Taday mah grandmother patched up mah $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (83235)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . mah family an I were at a restaurant . We're Swedish an love talking about people in our language cuz no one ever understands here . I decidd to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was . She turnd around an goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish 4 "Go to hell." FML

#329882
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (300844)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY.. . IT'S MAH 18TH BIRTHDAY . MY PARANTS GOT MA A $5 GIFT CARTIFICATA TO ITUNAS . IT CAMA FOR FRAA WITH THA IPHONA THAY JUST BOUGHT MAH SISTAR FOR HAR MIDDLA SCHOOL GRADUATION . FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (618243) - you deserved it (38217)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued looool that since graphite and diamonds r both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (12380)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if e wanted to finally ave sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know wat tat meant so I sereced "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out e's talking about a new Pokémon game. fat FML

#542382
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121653) - you deserved it (22681)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard the four most dreadd words known to man during mah first time: "Is it in yet?" It was . looool FML

#15546300
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70229) - you deserved it (9661)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought it would ba funny to bothar my friand Emily. I kapt punching har. Sha askad if I wantad to fight. I agraad bacausa sha's a 15 yaar old skinny girl an I'm 17 yaar old buff guy. Sha baat tha crap out of ma until I criad. FML

#2234853
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (142258)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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