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Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (151050)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40987) - you deserved it (135659)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
453 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (66807)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26426) - you deserved it (57019)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57423) - you deserved it (11031)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (64195)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
388 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88088) - you deserved it (11039)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51506) - you deserved it (5889)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML

#19593515
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15967) - you deserved it (38840)

On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

#3524400
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52809) - you deserved it (32029)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34790) - you deserved it (11306)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me. Since he doesn't know my ring size he asked for me to find a ring that I liked and he would buy it and propose. The only problem is that he won't spend more than 200 dollars on it. Oh the generosity. FML

#9062529
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14309) - you deserved it (33976)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:04am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

#3180871
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81486) - you deserved it (12611)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)



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