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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59393) - you deserved it (37082)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61126) - you deserved it (22664)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73934) - you deserved it (7696)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41169) - you deserved it (3194) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87531) - you deserved it (5640)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (8283)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (14601)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9113) - you deserved it (104313)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115428) - you deserved it (270877)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (24100)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21152) - you deserved it (222321)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (88571)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (28144)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)



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