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Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62461) - you deserved it (38778)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41331) - you deserved it (3196) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77680) - you deserved it (8097)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48456) - you deserved it (8373)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87683) - you deserved it (5649)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (14630)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (24162)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (233375)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (109550)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (29676)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (304360)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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