Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
848 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (326703)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
828 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130661) - you deserved it (78546)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40500) - you deserved it (277793)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
739 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53183) - you deserved it (7418)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
750 comments

I agree, your life sucks (302027) - you deserved it (164271)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
816 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30139) - you deserved it (547250)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
715 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (101632)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
712 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39095) - you deserved it (520789)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
702 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75585) - you deserved it (16434)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: