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Saturday 25 June 2016

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Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

by not a shitty situation so fuck you / 06/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2016 at 11:29pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML

by XxmegaronixX / 06/25/2016 at 12:55am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

by Booooolette / 06/22/2016 at 12:27am / France (Picardie) / Health

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML

by Pelly / 06/23/2016 at 6:26am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Health

Today, I was carrying my coffee from the kitchen to the coffee table and couch. Last week I had ACL surgery, so I'm on crutches. Unfortunately, I got the urge to sneeze on my walk to the couch. I didn't make it to the couch before I sneezed and spilled coffee everywhere. FML

by gimpy / 06/23/2016 at 11:00am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions. She then got mad at me when I went soft due to the pain. FML

by ItsGoneForever / 06/24/2016 at 8:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 5:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous