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Sunday 7 February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

#21523219
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11786) - you deserved it (900)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

#21522112
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (3669)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:48pm - money - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (1403)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#21522820
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (1593)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (4651)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15529) - you deserved it (1432)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

#21523204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (750)

On 02/05/2016 at 9:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12739) - you deserved it (1246)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (3284)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5102) - you deserved it (4083)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML

#21521941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16561) - you deserved it (6139)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (1347)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17218) - you deserved it (2667)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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