Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 1 April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (1727)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19673) - you deserved it (8784)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

#21384468
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (1632)

On 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm - health - by technical - United States (Washington)

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

#21384638
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (2124)

On 03/31/2015 at 8:56am - kids - by mokki - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (20402)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15224) - you deserved it (1938)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (1647)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (1690)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was siting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8291) - you deserved it (9624)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5488) - you deserved it (1217)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (1455)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3409) - you deserved it (255)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2997) - you deserved it (1059)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: