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Wednesday 3 September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50488) - you deserved it (7918)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (8391)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (40261)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46883) - you deserved it (6118)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48917) - you deserved it (3926)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

#21250852
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (13896)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm - misc - by akieferr - United States

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40714) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

#21252828
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (6573)

On 09/06/2014 at 2:11am - work - by fastfoodslave (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

#21254331
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39847) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/08/2014 at 6:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

#21255774
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (3789)

On 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (New York)



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