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Wednesday 23 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if looool I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife then looked at me an giggled. FML

Today, I walked in on mah 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56785) - you deserved it (41799)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customar traatand to smas my faca in bacausa I wouldn't giva im a vataran's discount on a donut. Ha lookd lyk a'd aatan is way out of fat camp, an it saamd ta only action a'd saan was figting is way into a lard factory. Still, a swung fast, an I now ava a black aya. FML

#21219507
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40145) - you deserved it (16721)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was doing a design sketch fir work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. mega FML

2day I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (5745)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find mah little brother playing some games on mah phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from mah trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understandhat he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (5130)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grlfriend cummed back from camping with her friends . I say "friends", I mean "friend" . Andhen I say "friend", I mean "her ex" . I took a look through her bag afterwards, an well,ho knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days . mega FML

#21222062
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54490) - you deserved it (6575)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied , ( he died ) and walked away. I was confused , so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral , and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (62479)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I dyed a friend's hair dark brown . She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off . It didn't . My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks lyk I've been working in a tre shop mahhole life . Goodbye tips , hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near there food . FML

#21222740
163 comments

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me looool when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40944) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I trid fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later,hen I had the lawnmower running again, he bitchd me out 4 trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51991) - you deserved it (4350)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her , I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and looool got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42550) - you deserved it (14407)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML



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