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Thursday 3 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55402) - you deserved it (11369)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46417) - you deserved it (14272)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51459) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56255) - you deserved it (5215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48931) - you deserved it (6214)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
177 comments

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46124) - you deserved it (26273)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48208) - you deserved it (8519)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48833) - you deserved it (4149)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41597) - you deserved it (6692)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43193) - you deserved it (7181)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47328) - you deserved it (4566)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44159) - you deserved it (4980)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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