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Thursday 26 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55575) - you deserved it (18302)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46115) - you deserved it (6608)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50148) - you deserved it (13179)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60330) - you deserved it (5707) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43348) - you deserved it (8676)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50967) - you deserved it (6441)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

#21191426
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (25353)

On 06/28/2014 at 11:48am - love - by lovegame (man) - Singapore

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51687) - you deserved it (4447)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47584) - you deserved it (16809)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63198) - you deserved it (4929)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49575) - you deserved it (8975)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (27869)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (4740)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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