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Sunday 8 June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57743) - you deserved it (9664)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48545) - you deserved it (19728)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (10574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54574) - you deserved it (11939)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57637) - you deserved it (8372)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I went to spend my last $50 on gas, since I get paid in 5 days. I paid for the gas and stepped into the restroom briefly. I came out, only to discover that the attendant had put the gas on the wrong pump, and someone had used it for themselves. My tank is empty. FML

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60347) - you deserved it (7178)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49139) - you deserved it (24447)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

#21164043
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55906) - you deserved it (4065)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm - kids - by bastards (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50790) - you deserved it (5149)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

#21167015
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (6653)

On 06/08/2014 at 11:10am - love - by eightleggedtictac - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML



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