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Monday 10 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57437) - you deserved it (6022)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

#21087397
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37515) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by nerdlette (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (3305)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54313) - you deserved it (5030)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (6119)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46841) - you deserved it (4351)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49840) - you deserved it (6780)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (4216)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42137) - you deserved it (36400)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)



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