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Monday 3 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (7787)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65366) - you deserved it (5138)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52803) - you deserved it (9517)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
190 comments

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63234) - you deserved it (8542)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56185) - you deserved it (3496)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (6790)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (5583)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41607) - you deserved it (3125)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (24167)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (4487)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States



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