Choose the period

Friday 17 January 2014

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm / Iceland / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

by coop42 / 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

by I.Want.Food. / 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

by monsterinlaw / 01/21/2014 at 1:25am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

by MH / 01/24/2014 at 7:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Love

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

by PangolinScholar / 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

by sidldaking / 01/21/2014 at 6:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

by Hairy_Potter / 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Health

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

by Profucktardor / 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

by DJ / 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

by my cheese grater + your dick / 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous