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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52980) - you deserved it (11919)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

#21035436
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61336) - you deserved it (8706)

On 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm - health - by AnonWife - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to take her hand in marriage. He said no, because he doesn't want her marrying a "sexist idiot who treats her like property", which he thinks asking permission amounts to, then told me to grow up. FML

#21033078
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49100) - you deserved it (10035)

On 01/19/2014 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (9322)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65861) - you deserved it (6242)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (51884)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57068) - you deserved it (13991)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51302) - you deserved it (8458)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (8467)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67723) - you deserved it (4151)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (19406)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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