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Friday 10 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (33748)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (22700)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (37554)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

#21020358
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (9781)

On 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by owl + bungee cord (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (5378)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

#21020871
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53361) - you deserved it (4221)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Jae_Hellyun (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5376)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57173) - you deserved it (12257)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after much debate I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML

#21024170
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (9698)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:49am - misc - by madib33 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51946) - you deserved it (4785)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML

#21025291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52709) - you deserved it (4772)

On 01/12/2014 at 3:03am - kids - by -_- - United States

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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