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Friday 10 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. looool Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. mega FML

#21030923
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (7724)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Taday I Joined Friends Out Brtday Clubbing. After I'd Gotten A Little Drunk, A Few Guys Asked Fir Number. I Rattled Off Random Numbers, Until I Accidentally Said Moter's. Guesso Woke Up To A Text At 2:17 In Te Morning, Containing A Picture Of A Penis. FML

#21022033
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (35211)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Yesterday... I realizd that if u r dreaming that u have diarrhea... u probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy I lika askad ma to a danca. Trying to act modast an at tha sama tima complimant him, I told him, "You could do so much battar, though." Aftar thinking fir a momant, ha rapliad, "You'ra right, I could. Navar mind," an walkad away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (56474)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today... I realized I willingly support mah boyfriend's alcoholism... because the only time he says "I love you" is when he's blind drunk. FML

#21023769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (15789)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad askd me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returnd with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (8032)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to psycho roommate trying to baptize me in sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49334) - you deserved it (4803)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

#21027645
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (16752)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Texted Mah Boyfriend Of Two Yeres And Asked If He Wanted To Go To Ball With Me. His Response Was "The Person You Are Trying To Message Cancelled Their Phone Service And Moved To Mexico. Taco Taco Burrito." I'll Take That As A No. Mega FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46045) - you deserved it (5200)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, mah roommata,ho has bipolar disordar an rafusas to taka his mads, triad to stab ma with a kitchan knifa bacausa I thraw out his moldy chaasa. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44432) - you deserved it (5194)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

my lips were dry an capped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's capstick. Se didn't mind, so I quickly putted some on. Only later did I notice tat my lips were looool sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (12613)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, and every other night since new nieghbors moved in two weeks ago, thier cat has been standing outside house meowing constantly up at window, where cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (4943)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I Found Out Thathenever My Ex-wife Is Late Getting The Kids To School, She Tells Them To Tell There Teacher They Were With Me, And Forge My Name On The Sign-in Sheet. Missing Homework? Dad's House. Forgot To Bring Something Important? Ditto. The School Think I'm A Horrible Parent. FML



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