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Friday 10 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I downloadd Grindr to mah phone!! It also downloadd to mah mom's phone, mah dad's phone, an mah brother's phone!! FML

#21030290
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39349) - you deserved it (20903)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I decidd to have a quickie before the kids woke up from there nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children cummd busting in with there nerf guns, screaming, ( Where's the monster? ) FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53698) - you deserved it (32539)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm trapped in apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside only door an prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43886) - you deserved it (5412)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

I Overheard My Mum Tell My Sister That She Should Make Me A Bridesmaid At Her Wedding. My Sister Scoffed, "She Looks Like Shamu, Mum. I Can't Have THAT In My Wedding Pics." Followed By Laughter And My Mum Saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (6306)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I Joked With A Pregnant Grl In A State Juvenile Correctional Facilityhere I Work That Eating A Lot Of Candy Would Damage The Unborn Baby's Teeth. Without Batting An Eye, She Responded That She Would Simply ( Eat Some Toothpaste After The Candy. ) FML

yesterday it's been two weeks since mah parents went crazy with there attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep mah B.O. under control. FML

#21025608
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48343) - you deserved it (4129)

On 01/12/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by shakinmahbuttbutt (man) - United States

Today, I realisd after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a nakd dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agred that I needd a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (20357)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today... I sang ( happy birthday ) to my best friend. Sadly... it was while waitressing at work... where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50664) - you deserved it (3810)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today mah 175-pound rottwieler I've raisd since a puppy watchd me get jumpd and robbd of mah phone and money in mah yard!! An hour later he hoppd the fence and chasd the mail man down the street after he leand on the fence 4 a second!! fat FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (4752)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I PUKED UP AN ANTI-NAUSEA PILL!! FML

#21026645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49737) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

2day I took a nap in mah car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat watching me sleep. Apparently he'd managd to unlock the door with a wre hanger. mega FML

#21027083
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (5390)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hackd into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party 4 myself 4 my 21st. She ignord the message 4 two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (18941)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that mah new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (5762)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)



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