Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 9 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62309) - you deserved it (27063)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54520) - you deserved it (12326)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68185) - you deserved it (6440)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71210) - you deserved it (4406)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60820) - you deserved it (14871)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52410) - you deserved it (8584)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (45829)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (18419)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62865) - you deserved it (8501)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56363) - you deserved it (6933)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62674) - you deserved it (4592)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54015) - you deserved it (6763)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: