Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

#21002397
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (2953)

On 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm - work - by homerr123 (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

#20999362
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (3716)

On 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we need to talk. I think he dumped me, but I'm not sure, because he muttered it in Russian and quickly left. FML

#21009542
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (3421)

On 12/29/2013 at 5:58pm - love - by RustyRuski (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (3943)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38464) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (9629)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized there is nothing quite like having your mother be too hungover to open presents on Christmas morning. FML

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

#21000904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by Isitreallythatbad, (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47356) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (3184)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

#20995103
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (4035)

On 12/16/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by dazed and confused - United States (Florida)

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43710) - you deserved it (4490)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: