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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (7951)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (3011)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you deserved it (4126)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (14311)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

#21006894
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (5545)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:35am - misc - by good friend - United States (Montana)

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48324) - you deserved it (2986)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (11236)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49268) - you deserved it (6488)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45309) - you deserved it (3437)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46962) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (8240)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (12287)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

#20999926
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (21269)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by AbsentMindedGal - United States



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