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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43616) - you deserved it (10242)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (8382)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46116) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38546) - you deserved it (8082)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43079) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41669) - you deserved it (4214)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (14564)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45390) - you deserved it (3035)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

#21006894
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (5621)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:35am - misc - by good friend - United States (Montana)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53993) - you deserved it (7028)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49215) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (11541)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43396) - you deserved it (3610)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)



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