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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36807) - you deserved it (5661)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (4334)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46445) - you deserved it (6728)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55041) - you deserved it (4734)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58766) - you deserved it (8625)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (57037)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54265) - you deserved it (27911)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58304) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40813) - you deserved it (7118)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (5375)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (46804)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41782) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)



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