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Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (4262)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41373) - you deserved it (7823)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (11785)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

#20963001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:51am - work - by Not impressed. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (2133)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35557) - you deserved it (2476)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (9926)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)



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