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Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40176) - you deserved it (3573)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46798) - you deserved it (2806)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44216) - you deserved it (3017)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I got an angry call to the phone shop where I work. The caller demanded that we give him his money back. His reason? He said he'd been tricked because his phone got ruined by water "even though he was using the waterproof application". FML

#20960536
71 comments

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

#20962134
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44610) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:37pm - money - by Annonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (14093)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (11943)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

#20955006
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (5394)

On 11/12/2013 at 10:27am - kids - by CurseYouSonyaLee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43199) - you deserved it (3579)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

#20965857
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50567) - you deserved it (9892)

On 11/21/2013 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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