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Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (63903)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (87951)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32326) - you deserved it (46941)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while swimming in the ocean, I felt some sand under my wedding ring. I took it off for a second, and got hit by a huge wave. My ring is now lost somewhere in the ocean. FML

#20961838
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (38439)

On 11/18/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by smiley1014 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML

#20958067
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (4259)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58111) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57612) - you deserved it (8772)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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