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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40018) - you deserved it (3536)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

#20951618
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44371) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

#20950992
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53497) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/09/2013 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46520) - you deserved it (11223)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48168) - you deserved it (4476)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39155) - you deserved it (4637)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offered me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept, since it's against store policy, but thanked him anyway. He called me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car, who then yelled at me for it. FML

#20955992
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42072) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:42am - work - by BagBoy (man) - United States

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46310) - you deserved it (9235)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (8493)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47442) - you deserved it (2540)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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