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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45589) - you deserved it (8311)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (11252)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39809) - you deserved it (5166)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39335) - you deserved it (11233)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44912) - you deserved it (18580)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

#20958238
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (2970)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:00am - misc - by Eggs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47947) - you deserved it (3874)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (7355)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (3593)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39316) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)



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