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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad walkd in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real wierd." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (15321)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked a co-workery e was wearing sandals, as tey are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry wit me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, e told er tat I walked up to im and asked to suck is toes.

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41142) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a party wit a few of my friends . We saw a guy walking around wit brigt pink lipstick all over is mout, so we made a bet to seeo could matc te lipstick to te grl frst . I won . It was my grlfriend's . FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55548) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, DESPITE MY FEAR OF USING PUBLIC RESTROOMS, I WAS FORCED TO ANYWAY TO AVOID MY BLADDER EXPLODING. I WAS FINALLY GETTING OVER IT WHEN SOMEONE STUCK THEIR HEAD UNDER THE STALL TO "SEE IF SOMEONE'S IN THERE". I'M SCARED MORE NOW THAN I WAS BEFORE. FML

#20947778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (4616)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I WOKE UP LATE AND HAD TO RUSH TO CATCH BUS. UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL, I WAS HOT FROM RUNNING AND TOOK OFF SWEATER. IT WAS THEN, IN A LECTURE HALL WITH 400 PEOPLE, THAT I REALISED I HADN'T PUTTED A SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45986) - you deserved it (10240)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my usband got mad at me fir not elping take out te groceries from te car. He yelled tat I'm lazy, and tat e regrets our marriage. I guess e forgot tat te door andle on tat side is broken and e ad to let me out of te car. FML

#20953907
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45861) - you deserved it (4154)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

TODAY, MAH MOTHER NOT ONLY TOLD ME THAT MAH EX-HUSBAND WILL BE SPENDING THANKSGIVING WITH HER AND MAH DAD, BUT THAT I'M ALSO NO LONGER INVITD TO SPEND THE HOLIDAY WITH MAH FAMILY. REAL FML

#20950805
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47628) - you deserved it (3923)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Yesterday, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, ( Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out. ) I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I finally workd up anough couraga to ask out tha guy I'va had a crush on fir months. I taxtd him, an ha thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddia his naighbor. Now ha an tha Maddy from his work r dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51080) - you deserved it (5287)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

2dayila Catting To My Motar, I Triad To Sow Ar A Funny Wabsita By Pasting Ta URL Into A Massaga. Aftar I Sant Ta Massaga, I Raalisad Tat My Browsar Adn't Copiad Ta URL I Wantad To Sand Ar, An Tat I'd Actually Pastad Ta Pravious URL I Copiad. It Was Porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (42812)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I woke up an went to the bathroom , only to fine my dad sitting on the toilet , blind drunk . He screamd "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me . I just wantd to shave .

#20946588
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (3469)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was lying beside ma 5-year-old son to elp im get to sleep. He turnd is ead and askd, "Daddy, wy do u suck so muc?" FML

#20959118
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44770) - you deserved it (4317)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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