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Today, I asked a co-workery e was wearing sandals, as tey are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry wit me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, e told er tat I walked up to im and asked to suck is toes.
Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML
Today, I was at a party wit a few of my friends . We saw a guy walking around wit brigt pink lipstick all over is mout, so we made a bet to seeo could matc te lipstick to te grl frst . I won . It was my grlfriend's . FML
TODAY, DESPITE MY FEAR OF USING PUBLIC RESTROOMS, I WAS FORCED TO ANYWAY TO AVOID MY BLADDER EXPLODING. I WAS FINALLY GETTING OVER IT WHEN SOMEONE STUCK THEIR HEAD UNDER THE STALL TO "SEE IF SOMEONE'S IN THERE". I'M SCARED MORE NOW THAN I WAS BEFORE. FML
TODAY, I WOKE UP LATE AND HAD TO RUSH TO CATCH BUS. UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL, I WAS HOT FROM RUNNING AND TOOK OFF SWEATER. IT WAS THEN, IN A LECTURE HALL WITH 400 PEOPLE, THAT I REALISED I HADN'T PUTTED A SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH. FML
Today, my usband got mad at me fir not elping take out te groceries from te car. He yelled tat I'm lazy, and tat e regrets our marriage. I guess e forgot tat te door andle on tat side is broken and e ad to let me out of te car. FML
Yesterday, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, ( Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out. ) I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML
Today, I finally workd up anough couraga to ask out tha guy I'va had a crush on fir months. I taxtd him, an ha thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddia his naighbor. Now ha an tha Maddy from his work r dating. FML
2dayila Catting To My Motar, I Triad To Sow Ar A Funny Wabsita By Pasting Ta URL Into A Massaga. Aftar I Sant Ta Massaga, I Raalisad Tat My Browsar Adn't Copiad Ta URL I Wantad To Sand Ar, An Tat I'd Actually Pastad Ta Pravious URL I Copiad. It Was Porn. FML
Friday 27 March 2015