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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33488) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (7803)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42397) - you deserved it (2176)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (2621)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (2911)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

#20955006
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (4450)

On 11/12/2013 at 10:27am - kids - by CurseYouSonyaLee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (2557)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34972) - you deserved it (2204)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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