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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (3426)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42804) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46263) - you deserved it (5077)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (2653)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32581) - you deserved it (3923)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48688) - you deserved it (5060)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (3452)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40642) - you deserved it (7325)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (6431)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19828) - you deserved it (47231)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (5058)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (8015)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38380) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)



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