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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (5401)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (7962)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (32372)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (3901)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (7643)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41791) - you deserved it (3722)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

#20945549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44269) - you deserved it (8115)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by UnfortunatelyAmusing (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (50394)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (4520)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42995) - you deserved it (5907)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (8678)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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