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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48197) - you deserved it (3205)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44056) - you deserved it (4174)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
109 comments

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52340) - you deserved it (5448)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (5511)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (6859)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (3472)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45554) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49911) - you deserved it (4081)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49829) - you deserved it (5488)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (33836)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

#20943997
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (8636)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)



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