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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34950) - you deserved it (19145)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48945) - you deserved it (6033)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (3716)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44733) - you deserved it (9901)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (41208)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42405) - you deserved it (4565)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41863) - you deserved it (4382)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50896) - you deserved it (7455)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (4581)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (4642)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
108 comments


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