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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to scool witout any makeup on. Te guyso usually compliment me for being pretty r now calling me "Te Greatest Illusion Ever". real FML

#20936906
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44773) - you deserved it (19843)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Yesterday I Took My Two And A Half Year-old Son Trick Or Treating Fir The First Time In Our New Nieghborhood. At The Very First House, A Girl Told Us We Were Too Early And Slammed The Door In Our Face. My Son Cried. FML

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican!! After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, ( That's the same f*cking thing!! If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican!! ) FML

#20939700
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46871) - you deserved it (5327)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Yesterday, like every other day, mah daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is looool very "non-conformist" an "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punchd her in the face when she accusd her of bieng anorexic. Now people think I gave mah daughter her new black eye. real FML

#20942627
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (6276)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, My Mom Found A New Fad, And Now Styles Herself As Some Kind Of Modern Druid. Normally I'd Just Roll My Eyes And Deal With It, Except She's Forced The Entire Family To Go Vegetarian, Threatening Harsh Punishments If We Refuse To Stop ( Poisoning ) Our Bodies. FML

#20943896
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (3071)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY WHILE I WAS WORKING OUT I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC WITH MY EARBUDS IN. THE POKÉMON THEME STARTED PLAYING AND I BEGUN SINGING ALONG. IT WASN'T TOO LONG AFTER THAT I REMEMBERED I WAS IN A CROWDED GYM ON A MILITARY BASE. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (10651)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview!! Turns out there's a grl on Twitter with my name and ageho tweet nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation!! She won't make her profile private!! FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44007) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

yesterday it's the fourth day of mah new diet. I told mah friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in mah pocket then scarfed them downhile pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17657) - you deserved it (45647)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I Was Telling My Friends A Story. I Addd A Few ( Embellisments ) To Make It More Intense. One My Friends Pipd Up Wit, ( I Was Wit You, Alf Of Wat U Just Said Wasn't True ). It's Now All Over Facebook And I'm Known As ( Te Bullsitter ). FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (64902)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today tere was a power outage at my apartment . I endd up deciding tat te power wasn't going to come on any time soon and tat I sould go to a otel 4 te nigt . Just after I unpackd at te otel my neigbor calld to say te power ad come back . FML

#20942793
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20257) - you deserved it (40311)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Today, I rushd to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologizd for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He respondd with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands."

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (12457)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today My Husband Was Getting Undressed!! I Told My 2-year-old Daughter To Go In Our Bedroom Because He Was Undressing In There!! I Turned My Back An She Instantly Ran Off To My Bedroom!! I Heard Her Shout ( I Can See Daddy's Tail! ) Now She Points To Everyone's Crotch An Shouts ( TAIL! ) FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (6466)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today , my girlfriand got a datantion 4 public display of affaction. Wa go to diffarant schools. FML

#20937522
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)



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