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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, my 8-year-old came home from school crying. Apparently her teacher told the whole class to write about how they felt when they learned that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy weren't real. FML

#20942077
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53027) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/02/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by SantaClaus - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, although I have the same job title and complete the same work as my male colleagues, I get paid 15% less, purely because I'm a girl. FML

#20939397
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53225) - you deserved it (7717)

On 10/30/2013 at 6:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62340) - you deserved it (4054)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67642) - you deserved it (4681)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

#20944097
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35902) - you deserved it (41419)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27786) - you deserved it (41165)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (3894)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (8982)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86956) - you deserved it (6205)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36612) - you deserved it (14243)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44183) - you deserved it (19615)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States



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