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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (2590)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41292) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (5346)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (4443)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45479) - you deserved it (4126)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (8292)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50458) - you deserved it (4698)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47586) - you deserved it (5578)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

#20933703
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (3393)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, someone tried to steal my backpack from the hook on the bathroom stall. Good news: they were caught off-guard by how heavy it was and dropped it. Bad news: my foot is now broken from using it to cushion the backpack's fall. FML



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