Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, I decided to try LSD wit a few friend in a safe environment . As an artist, I ad planned to spend my trip doing psycedelic painting and ad all my supplie set up . Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about te "evil easel" and never even touced my canvas . FML

#20930479
332 comments

Today, I ad to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our batroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in te day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out tat pipe wasn't te only one e snakd. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56224) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I got married . My usband an I ad been waiting until marriage to ave sex, an wen te time came, we started to undress . As I took ma bra off, is eyes glazed over, an e fainted . An our later, all e could say was, "I don't tink we're meant to be togeter." mega FML

#20936013
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65067) - you deserved it (8603)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today my grlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her an if so hat. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27803) - you deserved it (41187)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, an I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49199) - you deserved it (8414)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I remindd mah husband that I was on mah period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kickd in an he stuck his hand down mah pants while we were going to bd. I was wearing a maxi pad. mega FML

#20935542
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53658) - you deserved it (5356)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, L Groundd Mah 17-year-old Son From His Computer Because Of His Terrible Attitude Towards His Homework!! As Payback, He Convincd Mah 5-year-old Daughter That If She Goes To Sleep, She'll Never Wake Up!! I Now Have A Hysterical And Sleepless Child To Deal With!! FML

Today, I saw a wasp on tha ground, apparantly injurad an unabla to fly. It was baing mobbad by ants an lookad cartain to dia, so I stampad on tha ants to sava its lifa. At this point it sprung up, stung ma, than flaw off. FML

#20932403
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (25232)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, the tickets I bought 4 mah favorite band's concert arrived in the mail!! The concert was last night!! FML

#20935170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (4302)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I trid to get her to eat something light, 4 our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelld at me 4 being a ( pervert ) and accusd me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44402) - you deserved it (4983)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today , I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see wat it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room , build momentum , an launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. real FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

YESTERDAY I WENT TO SCHOOL WITHOUT ANY MAKEUP ON. THE GUYS WHO USUALLY COMPLIMENT ME FIR BEING PRETTY R NOW CALLING ME "THE GREATEST ILLUSION EVER". FML

#20936906
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44773) - you deserved it (19843)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: