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Friday 18 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43477) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (6810)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (5403)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49089) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

#20923929
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (3701)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm - health - by LegInPieces - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35862) - you deserved it (7012)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (3451)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (42010)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44819) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42243) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



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