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Friday 18 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40168) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28762) - you deserved it (9646)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (3687)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

#20925040
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/18/2013 at 10:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (3057)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2392)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (3793)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

#20926020
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you deserved it (5705)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:30am - love - by AchievementUnlocked? - United States

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (2640)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (4776)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (5962)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia



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